Domestic violence is everybody’s business

http://ift.tt/1oEnlBS JULY 10 — In the past few weeks, images of a bruised and battered woman’s face have been making their rounds on the Internet. It probably wouldn’t have made the news if it weren’t for the fact that the injuries were horrific and brutal and that the alleged perpetrator, her husband, is a Malaysian rock star. A few days ago, a 23-year-old newlywed was set ablaze by her jealous husband who accused her of having an affair. She is now recovering from burns on 30 per cent of her body. When will this stop and why do we continue to tolerate domestic violence? Based on Royal Malaysian Police statistics, 2,229 cases of domestic violence were recorded between January and September last year. The year before, it was 2,558 during the same period. On average six women are reportedly abused by their intimate partner each day. According to the Department of Women Development under the Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development, one in three women have or will experience some form of violence in her life. Domestic violence is still heavily under-reported, so the true figures are likely much higher. It is a sobering reality. The sad fact is that decreases in the number of reported cases do not reflect a decrease or even represent the frequency of such crimes, rather they are a result of an ongoing culture of silence when it comes to what is often considered a domestic affair. This is often code word for “nobody else’s business” or “jangan masuk campur urusan rumah tangga orang” which covers all manner of sins, including gender based violence, marital rape and even death. By the time we make it our business, it is often too late. Most women who have experienced domestic abuse, become statistics and are often denied justice. Rozana Misbun, wife to Malaysian rocker of Wings fame and actor, Awie, became another survivor of domestic violence. We don’t know how long she and her children have been suffering but what is certain is that this assault and abuse was probably not the first time. It is a known fact that by the time these acts within a relationship become known, it has already gone through a pattern of abuse. Months. Years. Even decades. The images of Rozana’s battered and misshapen face bears shocking testimony of the violent assault which she was subjected to. In this, we are reminded of others. R&B soul singer Rihanna’s face after her then-boyfriend Chris Brown had assaulted her. Jazz queen Sheila Majid and Roslan Aziz. Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate and it can occur no matter how wealthy you are, how beautiful you are or how smart you are. Regardless of what some might think, no religion provides licence to beat up your wife for whatever reason. Violence, domestic or otherwise, is abhorred and for a person to resort to that, I think that it makes that person not only less of a man but also less of a human being. But we have a long way to go. Women are continuously told (even by other women) that they bring violence and shame on to themselves. Even today in 21st century Malaysia, our daughters and sons are brought up to think acts of violence are somehow justified because of a cleavage, a short skirt, an exposed shoulder, a raised voice or an opposing opinion. What is worse is when perpetrators of domestic violence are glorified. Some police officers and members of the public were supposedly taking selfies with Awie at the Ampang magistrate court last week. Chris Brown remains popular. The brutal reality is that justice can be very elusive when it comes to domestic violence. Survivors are sometimes discouraged from making police reports by well-meaning but deluded officers who say things like “Baliklah. Berbaiklah dengan abang tu. Jangan marah-marah. Nanti kalau buat kes polis lagi susah.” Imagine how the woman with the black eye and split lip would feel hearing this. In Rozana Misbun’s case, for the past month, she has reportedly been prevented from meeting or even contacting her three young kids (ages four, six and seven). By her husband, the alleged abuser. Why is this so? Shouldn’t the children be with their mother, especially if there is a threat of violence and abuse? Why are the authorities not assisting Rozana to ensure that she has custody of her kids for their own protection? Our continued silence and our own inability to champion this issue for Rozana and countless other women fosters a sense that domestic violence is not an issue. That it is not our business. We, the public, need to speak out. These are our sons and daughters, husbands and wives, fathers and wives. Our friends and loved ones. We need to strengthen our laws especially in the implementation of the 1994 Domestic Violence Act. We need to transform our culture by having our men and boys play a role in ending violence against women. We need individual and community action to challenge the habits and norms that perpetuate violence. We need to improve support services for survivors. Let us reach out to friends and loved ones who have suffered from domestic violence, and tell them they are not alone. Domestic violence is everybody’s business and we should commit ourselves to ending it in our own families, homes, and communities. - See more at: http://ift.tt/1oEnlBS



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